Straight on Through

Things in my head and now …. not

Relationship Recycling

Last weekend I went and visited my grandparents. 

To most of you I would think that this would be a “no big deal” thing to do… but in my case – it is.  I won’t go into a lot of detail as even I do not have all the details…. but these people and I have not really had a relationship as I grew up and seeing them is fairly new (like within the last 4 years new when I opened that door with a Christmas card…).  The point is not the who, what, when, and why –

but now.

I wanted to blog on this last week and just did not with time issues and really not knowing what to say about this recent visit… until today when Pastor Brett spoke on recycling and connections to others as God’s plan – the greatest of all commandments, “Love one another“.  This message reminded me of a choice I made a long time ago.

I am anti burn pile.  (If you missed the sermon – this was about tossing people away that we no longer feel we had a need for, or they have hurt us so much that we wish to burn away that relationship – destroying all memory of it and evidence.)  Having grown up with a lot of incredibly painful losses, I find it hard to let go of people.  I realize some relationships have seasons, where God sends us people for a while… they help us move to a new area in our life – and sometimes that is the extent of that relationship.  We are left with a gratefulness for their guidance and friendship while it was meant to be ours.  Yet other relationships are meant to be renewed and revisited – and yes, recycled.

This recent visit to the Grandparents was long over due and I am to blame for that.  I am a great “time filler upper” and I have no problem keeping myself busy with tasks, duties, commitments, charity, friends, family, and fun.  This visit had been on my mind for awhile but I would always excuse myself of it thinking they have nothing but time and will want a long visit…. I am usually overcommitted and can not commit to a long visit therefore I justified no visit at all.

However last Saturday I had a free afternoon.  My schedule had cleared, Al was going to take a nap and I could read or putz around on the computer all afternoon if I wished….. instead I made the phone call and went and visited two people who are happy to build a relationship with me. 

As I sat and I listened to stories I have heard before from their own childhoods to new stories of more recent times…. I thanked God for this opportunity to just be with them.  Both of them in their 90’s live to share their stories and in my hurried up world – it felt so good just to stop and listen.  And as I listened, I thought about what the glue was that held us together.. that made each of us strive to be more to the other… and then I knew.  The missing link in this picture was my mother.  Her own mother before me, working on building a connection with her granddaughter.  A granddaughter trying to find yet another piece of her mother. 

I have so many questions for them…. so much I don’t know …. yet I am at peace with not knowing.  At this point for each of us, I am happy to leave well enough alone and just continue to recycle this relationship by continuously opening that door and doing what I can to be a part of their lives.  I do not want to leave any doubt in their mind that they were loved by me…. and the only way I can explain this, is that love poured through because of God’s love for us. 


November 23, 2008 - Posted by | Devotion in motion

1 Comment

  1. Woman…..
    Thanks for sharing…I to need to recycle some relationships as well.
    Family is so hard….

    Comment by Key | November 23, 2008

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