Straight on Through

Things in my head and now …. not

The Locked Box

I wonder if everyone has one?  It is like a locked box tucked carefully deep within the walls of your heart. 

Occasionally, it opens just a crack and a hurt from long ago spills out.  It’s not something you need to give to God, at least in my case – I already have and I know He has it because I wouldn’t be standing here today if He didn’t. 

It’s hard to explain, but if you have one, I think you’ll get this.  It’s not luggage you are carrying on your back.  It’s not heavy, and it’s not really a burden.  I like having it there.  While it may be painful at times, or sadden me, it’s dear to me and I embrace the hurt. It reminds me of what makes me – me.

There are many things that can cause the box to open.  Sometimes it’s a word, a memory, or someone says, “you remind me so much of _____________”.    Sometimes it is a taste or a smell that takes you back unexpectedly.

Many people hold keys to the locked box that I carry.  Some don’t even know they have a key.  Others know they have a key, but will not open that box – not even an inch.  Sometimes… I wish they would.   Other times I will be surprised by a key holder who I had no idea held a key.

The box for me holds items that when I think of them, they sometimes take my breath away.  And other times, more often than not – they make me smile.  They are mine, they are like no one elses and I thank God for what is in that box because they are also some of my dearest memories.

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August 14, 2008 - Posted by | Life thoughts

4 Comments

  1. Wow girl…deep. I really like this and it making think what I have in my box. As I think about it…I wonder what is in the box that I really don’t need in there anymore…is there something I put some value to long ago and now when I look at it, it is just empty trash that should be thrown out. Is it bogging me down, is it a grudge against someone, even God?

    Comment by TT Lago | August 16, 2008

  2. Thanks Tim for commenting on this. I like how you mention that some of the stuff in there could be so old – that maybe we need to do a little house keeping and see what we can take out.
    The pieces of loss I think will always be with me. That is something that I just never want to lose.

    Comment by sdechantal | August 17, 2008

  3. I think there should be a lot of stuff of value in the box….some good and some even not so memorable….but like you say…it makes us who we are. What might be important is for us to hand out more keys.

    Comment by TT Lago | August 17, 2008

  4. Ooh…. handing out more keys… interesting. Good thought. : )

    Comment by sdechantal | August 18, 2008


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