Straight on Through

Things in my head and now …. not

F5

tor.jpgHave you seen the movie Twister?  Remember Helen Hunt searching for the ultimate tornado, an F5? 

For the last two weeks I feel as though I have been hit by an F5 tornado.  I have taken personal blows, and adding to that, this week I had major opportunities in our business that involved me researching each and every time card for 2007. 

I have felt stretched beyond comfort and stress to tears at many points during this time.  I have felt completely exposed and have had to reach out for advice and assistance.  Boy I hate that. 

I have felt to be in a hole and each little thing just dug me in deeper.  Loaded down with over commitment this week did not help the situation and of course as always I want to do everything and be everywhere.  (I think that is when God stepped in.)

Tonight I had to come home and look up timecard information for our accountant for 2006.  No problem.  All the paperwork for each year is filed in a bankers box.  I get the box down and open it up. 

No timecards.  Problem. 

I spend the next three hours going through everything in the office.  Al comes home and helps with the search.  I am broken, feeling unbelievably buried in a hole deeper than I can remember in a long time.  Sufficating.  Al says not to worry, they will turn up.  Relax… 

Argghhhh… what does he know???

My big project for next week was going to be to go through and re check all of our 2006 time cards.  I do not enjoy numbers, but this is a task that must be done.  Now I am wondering how can I check numbers when I have no cards?  STRESS is so heavy that it brings me to my knees.

I pray – and I pray.  I pray for guidance.  I pray to let go and to God to please oh please clear my mind to the point that I can recall where these time cards may be.  A years worth of time cards is a huge pile.  I remember filing them in the box.  At this point I am praying that God helps them turn up and no matter where they are – I won’t ask questions as to how they got there, but accept it as God’s help.  (No, I don’t make it a habit to pray about time cards…)

My weekend vision of relaxing before I have to hit the time cards heavy again on Monday has vanished.  I know I will worry about this all weekend.  I am depressed and heavy with this burden of worry. The phone rings and it is our son Brad for Al.  I take the phone to him.  As I go to walk back to the office, I walk over to a large buffet hutch and open the long center drawer.  2006 timecards.  All of them. 

There is absolutely no reason for those cards to be there or for me to have walked over and opened that drawer.  Yet, I did.  And I am not questioning it but praising God every time I think about it. 

I work hard to try to have it all together.  I like organization, I like to be involved. I am reminded once again to slow down and allow God to work in my life.  Martha let busyness distract her from the Lord.

The thing that you, me, and everyone in the Bible have in common is that God can take us as we are, broken, faulty humans, and use us in a way that never ceases to amaze me. 

Have a great weekend everyone. 

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August 31, 2007 - Posted by | Just me

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