Due to recent events in my life I have been thinking about my mom a lot. This morning as I prepped for my day and I was about to hustle out of the bathroom, I noticed the sink should be wiped down. I can do it later, I thought. Then I thought, what if this is my last day and I am not coming back?
This is not the first time I have went through this scenario and I am almost a little hesitant to share this, yet I wonder if others think this too.
I remember coming into this house, mom’s house, for the first time after she had passed away. I was the first one. The normalcy of the home… scattered magazines on the table, her favorite blanket on the couch. A new lasagna in the refrigerator, probably for dinner that night. Clothes on the line. This was not the look of a home of someone who was not planning to come back. Yet, I wonder what that morning was like for her as she prepared to go to work. Did she hesitate before she left the house? Did she give it one last look? Was there an inkling of what was to come?
Then I come to the present and think of what would be found in my home if this was my last day. Does it matter that I should have dusted this week? Or thrown out that leftover pizza? Could you analize my life by being that first one in my house?
God has told us that there will not be a last day – but a new begining. I don’t believe He cares what my house looks like, but instead, what my soul looks like. Perhaps lingering over a devotion or my Bible is more important than the shinyness of my counters.
I can pull up that memory of mom’s house that last day like it was yesterday. I like remembering for whatever reason it brings me comfort.
I have definately been broken, but I know God has made me whole again. I am who I am because of where I have been. The valley has been dark, and at times the tears errupt out of the cracks on my once brokeness, but God has been with me every step of the way.
What if this was your last day… what is the current condition of your soul? Are you ready?